Saturday, April 16, 2016

the delivery {march 30-31, 2016}

i went my whole due date with no contractions or signs of labor :(

5:30am: (wednesday, March 30) woke up with with a little bit of blood and miiild period-like, lower abdominal cramping. still bleeding 2 hours later (7:15) when I had to pee again. i knew my body was changing, but I've had so many other changes happen that I couldn't be positive that this was the real deal. i told Eric and we decided he'd wait to go to work til my midwife's office opened (at 8) and we could get in to make sure everything was still ok. we phoned hilary and gramps (he had golda's phone on his morning walk) to let them know what was going on and to get advice as to what we should do next. 

then it was time to call the midwife, and we killed time before our appt running some quick errands at the Walmart. we were both much too awake by this point to go back to bed. 

11:00am: the midwife student, karla, did my check. she measured me at 80%, 2cm! How could I have not only had ZERO progress in the last 2 weeks, but now I'm only at a 2cm?! what a devastating waste of time! we had to stop at Taco Bell on our way home to cope with the frustrations. once we got home we called Golda and Hilary with the [lack of] update, and went on a nice long walk. Still nothing. 

3:00pm: took Eric to math class and to do homework with a friend after--for sure there'd be no labor tonight..and I called Hilary so she'd know what was going on. we decided a prenatal spa day would be just what I needed to relax me and get me all pampered one last time before I'm a mother. we got it all scheduled and I went to lay down for my afternoon nap, and that's when it all started. 

4:30pm: i began feeling that cramping you get in your back while on your period around 4:30. I kept trying to sleep through it, thinking nothing of them each time they came. Then around 5 I decided to start timing them to see how long they lasted, and how far apart: 30 secs-1min, 15-20 mins apart. i didn't think much of it cuz I hadnt had braxton hicks contractions like this at all, and even if it was true labor, it could stay like this for days with little to no progression. 

I decided to distract myself by making some guac for dinner, as Eric would be home soon and ready to eat. When the contractions started coming every 10-12 mins I told Eric he better come home soon. He was home by 6, just when I couldn't get through the contractions on my own anymore. He would stand behind me and do hip squeezes or acupressure as I swayed my hips through the pain of each wave. We tried watching a show but it was too much for me to handle so we tried going on another walk...I made it about 50 feet before I had to turn around cuz the contractions were so intense. 

6:30pm I had to pee. On my way to the loo I thought I was gonna faint so I laid on the ground. It was still light out. Eric aided me through contraction after contraction as they came, each one a little closer together than the last one.
Soon they were more intense than ever, and coming every 3-5 mins. I knew I had to get up and go downstairs before we could be on our way so I began getting myself up slowly. It was now 8:30pm and dark out. Time seemed to fly by! Eric began gathering the last couple things and loading up the car inbetween contractions, and continuing to help me during contractions as i made my way to the car. The car ride wasn't all that bad. We were talking about something so important that Eric forgot to turn toward the hospital!!! So we ended up taking a little bit longer route. I texted Marsh, hannah and Hilary that we were on our way to le hospital! This was the real deal! 

9:05 We arrived to the hospital and slowly made our way up to the delivery wing. 
Contraction outside the hospital, in the elevator, at the check in desk, on our way to triage, while we waited for the midwife in triage, etc. We prayed for progression. 5cm and 100%!! The midwife asked us "Do you want to stay?" What kind of question is that?! Of course we do! I was so ready to finally meet my little man and he was coming soon!!! We got settled into our room and the nurse began asking questions as she monitored baby's heart rate and the contractions.

My midwife was next door finishing the final stages of delivery with another mommy. I heard screaming through the thick walls and just wanted to give up before things even really started. I was so scared for what was ahead! It wasn't until that baby was delivered that midwife Rachel and student Karla came to my room and I was able to get off the monitors. Rachel immediately ripped everything off me and sent me to the jacuzzi room. Karla came with us to the jacuzzi and just hung out while we worked our way through. with contractions still in my back, the jets felt wonderful as I focused on a spot on the wall and stayed on top of my breathing, swaying my hips all the while. 

11:00pm: Hilary arrived. She had so much to talk with Karla about that I began to get distracted from my focal point and breathing. Eventually I asked that they be quiet so i could keep my focus. Hil rubbed my feet while I held(squeezed) Eric's hand and the side rail of the tub. 

11:15pm: the water got to cold so we made our way back to our room, contraction, contraction, contraction. we raised the bed so I could stand and lean over it for a while. Intensity growing with each contraction. Then my body needed a rest so we lowered the bed and we did some monitoring. 

12:30am: I had the urge to push. 9cm. Karla and Rachel gave me the go ahead to push my way through the next contraction. Woosh! My water burst and splashed alllll over Karla! We were ready to go! The first few contractions of pushing were so awkward and painful and seemed to be going nowhere. I wanted to just give up. "This isn't working!!" I said with utter exhaustion. "That's not true, you're doing great!" They all said. "keep going and he'll be here soon!" "You are so strong!" 

My second wind came in a rush. With each contraction I found myself pushing to exhaustion and then giving one more good strong push. Finally close to crowning! "Oh my is that his little head/hair?" Hilary asked. I was so focused and in my zone that I could barely hear, let alone make sense of what Hilary just said. I knew I was getting close. A few more strong pushes and we were at the head. Ouch! I started to push so hard and then tried to push even harder. They said he's crowning and asked if I wanted to watch. NO WAY!! I was not about to watch my body stretch and tear. Save that for the next one. I could feel his little head stretching me even to the point of tearing. That did not feel good, but the harder I pushed the faster I'd get that pain over with and the sooner I get to meet this little human we created. 

I got the head out! I watched as Karla pulled the cord out from around his neck and over his head. Then it was time to deliver the rest of his tiny body. One more contraction and he'd be in my arms! I was so full of emotions: determination, excitement, peace, accomplishment, pain, fear, etc. 

1:03am: my perfect, blue, calm baby was just placed on my chest. 
He pooped on me the whole way up my stomach, and we were now both covered in a little blood, but I didn't even care. We did it! And with Eric's coaching, completely unmedicated and just as planned! . He's here and he totally looks like a [VERY purple] Sterling! He was clearly breathing, but he hardly made a sound. It was just me and him, staring in each other's eyes. 
Eric was such a champ the whole time, and we were both instantly smitten by this fresh little babe..our little babe. 

The healthy placenta was delivered and Eric cut the cord. 
Karla, supervised by Rachel went to work stitch in me up--honestly more painful than the actual delivery. Then they took Sterling for some monitoring and cleaned him up a little for his measurements

The first bath:

When it was my turn to get cleaned up, I couldn't handle all the blood and began to pass out. I had to lie down on the bathroom floor til it passed. 

3:00am: I was wide awake and full of adrenaline. I FaceTimed my parents to show off my new baby. I ate a few snacks and drank a ton, and then spent the rest of those early morning hours staring in awe at this precious human

Sure there was pain, but I couldn't have asked for a better experience, better nurses, or a better coaching team. It was all perfect. 

forty! forty! forty! {march 29, 2016}

+ this is it!!! finally my due date has arrived
+ still no real sign of labor aside from the ordinary braxton hicks, and still no progression
+ still love loooong walks
+ and naps :)
+ we've been going out to eat a lot this week, enjoying our last moments of "just us" time.
+ we've also been frequenting the local theaters, watching daddy's home, eddie the eagle, and allegiant
+ eric is days away from finals week!!! hope he's not testing when i go in to labor...
+ i'm starting to get nervous for real, actual labor..will my body actually know what to do? will i be strong enough? will my baby survive this last stage before i finally get to meet him? how will i be able to handle the pain? will eric be able to help? will eric be able to handle me being in that much pain? when is baby boy gonna get here? who is gonna deliver me? will hilary be able to make it? etc!
+ this is such a big deal, and i feel a little bit anxious to not have any control over when/how it will happen

Friday, April 8, 2016

week 39 [march 22, 2016]

this week's appointment was tough. I thought for sure i would have progressed further by now, but still no progression from last week.

++ i am ready to POP!
+ i love to go on long walks around town while talking to my sisters. i think it helps pass the time
+ naps are also my favorite
+ i've been working on some knitting projects to bide the time: rose blanket, red "Daniel Tiger" sweater for jacob, etc. soo relaxing

+ this waiting game is killing me!!!! but it'll be worth it to have a healthy baby

Friday, March 18, 2016

quick bumpdate {38.5 weeks}

today I had my 38 week appointment with my midwife. baby boy is so ready to come!! ...or maybe i'm just ready for him to be here already..
+ my uterus is 'measuring' 37cm, which is kind of small, but how accurate is that measurement anyway..?
+ cervix is 80% effaced and 3cm dialated!
+ im trying not to get my hopes up because i could stay that way for a week++ but we are definitely getting closer!!
+ but needless to say all my bags are packed and we are ready to go when the time comes
+ car seat doesn't get here til monday so im actually kind of hoping he waits a couple more days to come
+ iron supplements give me burps that taste like rust :/ but I'm hoping they'll give me the boost I need to get through labor

Saturday, March 12, 2016

thirty-eight [march 15, 2016]

+ this has been the longest week so far, and there's still 2 more weeks to go!! im hoping baby boy will come sooner than later
+ i feel huge 
+ i haven't actually gained any weight the past 3 weeks *yay!* but i feel like my insides are getting a bit more crammed
+ im craving ice like no other, so i had my midwife check iron levels just to make sure everything is ok..turns out I'm at a 7 (pretty low) :/ bring on all the red meat and iron supplements...blechh 
+ baby boy is big and strong! his once fluttery kicks are now big thuds
+ my emotions are out of control!! overall i honestly have never been happier, but there are those days when one moment im perfectly happy and ive got everything under control, and the next moment im near in tears and I can't even explain it. pregnancy can be rough
+ it's so fun to visualize our life with a new born. it'll be tough to not get much sleep, but so sweet a time is this
+ i love talking to Eric about baby boy--he gets really excited! he will be such a kind, tender father
+ we are all set for baby to get here: 
so many tiny boy clothes and blankets, toys and books and...!
+ baby boy's diaper bag is all packed, my hospital bag is {almost} packed, and we are just awaiting labor **please come soooon!**
+ i am feeling mostly mentally prepared/educated for labor, as prepared as i feel like i can be. we are almost finished with our lamaze birthing class, and i am very confident in having eric coach me through it all. i envision it as being a very hard thing, but as i just let my body do what it is designed to do it can be a very special event for eric, baby, and i
+ wish us luck!


Sunday, February 28, 2016

thirty-six {3/01/2016}

4 weeks to go! that's less than a month! 
+ i feel huge
+ baby loves to push his foot (elbow, hand..?) right into my stomach beside my belly button..cute, but sometimes a little painful
+ i love feeling this little boy move inside me! when he is awake, he is constantly moving, especially when we go watch eric play basketball..he goes crazy! started to feel sad just thinking about not having him in there anymore, but let's be honest. i cannot wait to meet him!!!
+ baby boy is ridin so low and has been putting lots of pressure on my pelvic area. let's just say it feels like I just finished a super long bike ride on a bike that had a very small bike seat..ouch! luckily ice and a pregnancy belly band relieve enough of the pain so I can still do stuff
+ speaking of doing stuff, i keep having relatively productive mornings, making me think i'm in my "nesting" stage (usually extreme the day before you go into labor), only to be completely exhausted by the afternoon. at least my house is getting clean, albeit slowly, but cleaner nonetheless
+ i've been having more frequent braxton hicks but not anything unmanageable yet
+ the diaper bag is packed for the hospital, and i can't stop thinking about packing my bag, but i definitely feel like it's a little early for that..maybe in a couple weeks, just in case baby boy decides to come a little early
+ i live in big tees and leggings 98% of the time. i put jeans on if we go out or something, but leggings are definitely my #1 pant these days
+did i mention i'm getting excited to meet this tiny human??
+ got the co-sleeper painted and started on the  diaper changing table/shelf. his room is closer to completion

Saturday, February 20, 2016

34.5 weeks

+ had a baby appt on thursday. baby is a head-down, LOW rider. i can definitely feel it, as the pressure on my bladder is pretty intense
+ baby (uterus) is measuring 36cm. big growth spurt since last appointment
+ hoping baby comes earlier than the estimated one week past due date for a first time pregnancy. all my mom's babies came a week or 2 early, so maybe *fingers crossed* i inherited that trait...i can dream, right? 
+ baby is kicking all the time! my stomach tightens (contracts) much more frequently, and it seems like everything is loosening up, just preparing for'll be here before we know it
+ i officially can't sleep at night anymore, no matter how many pillows i have! i either get too hot, my bump isn't getting supported enough, i have to pee, baby is kicking too strong, or i'm just flat out uncomfy. funny how our bodies seem to just begin preparing themselves for the many sleepless nights to come once baby arrives
+ we finally finished our little co-sleeper! yes, it's homemade, but it'll definitely do the trick

+ snapchat has some awesome filters right now, like this one that makes your eyes huge. hailey says this is what our baby will look like: red hair and big "heidi eyes" 

+ went to caldwell, id last weekend without eric for what was going to be a girls weekend, but hz ended up staying home and tim n anni came! sad, but happy :) it was really fun to visit some of my peoples and make a weekend out of it
+ made some bomb gf bbq chicken pizza for my valentine 

+ my belly is getting bigger FAST, making everyday tasks a little trickier. luckily no heartburn, waddling, or discomfort breathing, yet...althoughim sure those symptoms are well on their way!
+ morning sickness came back to haunt me today. luckily no puking, but it was close! we went for a walk at the smith park and then went to visit grandpa, and it took all of me to not let it all out before we got to the park. i think the cool outdoor breeze definitely